Personal Design is Personal

Everyone has a history.
Everyone has things that define their own history.
You don’t need special, trendy, or expensive things to have a truly well designed space.

What makes it authentically personal is that it reflects you, your life, your family, and your view of yourself.

How you put it together isn’t the whole trick, it’s being honest with what you have. Honesty about how your belongings create an atmosphere of shelter or shame.

I know that this sounds surprisingly significant, but making your home about you requires some ‘emotional inventory’ of your furnishings and mementos.

To start this exercise, ask yourself ‘Do my belongings bring peace, calmness, and good memories’?
Are you keeping pictures of your ex on the fridge, or in a frame? How do these things bring peace to your life? An elderly friend of mine continues to display pictures of her children’s ex-spouses. This is just because her children are in the photographs! If she were to really give the idea much thought, she’d realize that it brings uncomfortable feelings to her family, and probably unsettled feelings for herself.

What about expensive items? Sometimes, we keep things because they were costly, or a pricey gift. Do your belongings own you? Do these things help you recall good memories? Do they tell others (and yourself) how you see your life? When a couple marries, the gifts just keep coming. Sometimes they can be pricey, from fancy stores, but still lack any attachment to the receivers.

I had friends who married and combined homes. One thing that they couldn’t find a place for was an expensive six foot tall silk tree. One of them had spent so much on this fake tree, they couldn’t see past the money spent. They ask me my opinion about placing it in their new home. Honestly, the tree wasn’t that attractive, and the new had worn off long ago. Knowing that it wasn’t really favored by both the husband and wife, my first question to them was “Do you own the tree, or does the tree own you?”. (Ah, Yoda! Your question, it is good.) The real issue was not where the tree would look best, but did it really belong in their home. That idea had not occurred to them. By setting the tree out in the garage, for a future yard sale, they freed themselves up from the responsibility of keeping something that was costly, but not loved.

By thoughtfully creating your own living space- thinking about how each item connects you and your family to the life you want- you can create a home that is personal and authentic.

What does this look like in real life? Consider some common home accessories- Photographs and art.
By displaying photographs of people you love, you recall happy memories and good feelings. Art work can encourage, challenge, and calm. It can also be depressing, childish, or poorly rendered. What message would you want to be communicated in your home? Books can also send us subtle messages. Books that feature places and things that give you fond memories or goals of places to explore are positive. Books that just use space and might represent difficult times aren’t very good at giving you a positive message. Do old college text books, or travel books best represent who you are now?

Creating your own personal space, that offers you love, calmness, will afford you a place of refuge.

The photograph shown is from a calendar that was styled by Jeffrey Evans. It illustrates how a collection of personal momenetos can give a space a calm and cozy feeling- when they are meaningful.